Am I gay?

No I'm not questioning my sexuality. I'm a red blooded male, designed to kill and pro-create. Dunno about the killing bit though. I've nothing against homosexuals whatsoever, I live with a gay couple, I had no problem with sharing headphones with my best friend Jamie on a warm summers day in Queens Gardens (which is not a hang out for gays by the way), and one of my other best friends Mike Kynman is also homosexual. Anyway, enough of the gay tangent. This post title refers to a pupil in one of my classes today. Seen as it's my 1st week at the school, the kids have been asking me questions in order to get to know me. The first thing I was asked today was: "Are you gay?". Looking at this kid, he wouldnt look out of place sat at the back of the 42 from Greatfield. I think this lads gonna be a bit of a problem but keep him busy and he should be alright. I'll find a way to keep him on my side.
  Seen as there were a lot of teachers' birthdays in September, they had a gathering in the staff room with food, wine (wine at 11am are you having a laugh?) and other drinks. I ended up mixing the red wine with coca cola and got absolutely hammered and ended up being sick in one of the classrooms. It wasnt my finest moment to be honest. Especially when it was on a 12 year olds shoes. Headteacher is making me buy a new pair of shoes for the poor kid and a complaint has been made to the British Council. Everything I've just said was a lie.
  But there was food and wine etc. Typical basque food, ham, cheese, tortilla, croquetas. The school doesnt have a lunch break, instead they have a 25 minute break in the morning and another one in the afternoon. Loads of food though so I took advantage fo' sho'!
  I had quite a long free period today so I decided to watch The Inbetweeners. Good job I was on my own in the office because I was pissing myself. The Inbetweeners isn't exactly the most well written show on TV and the acting isn't Bafta worthy but it's still brilliant. It did make me miss my friends from back home a lot. I miss the banter (I hate that word but oh well), the piss taking, the wind-ups, all of that you know. Don't get me wrong, I've met some great people here in Spain, but it's been a while since I had a pint of Brooklyn and a natter in Pave. I don't really miss Welly, I feel too old to be in there, I know I'm only 22 but the kids are so young in there. I think I'm just bitter that I'm not 16 anymore and I can't dance like a gay robot having a fit to Black Wire because now it just looks stupid. I'll still lose my head to One Armed Scissor though, thats a fact. I will say this though, the left corner of that dancefloor would not be what it is today if it wasn't for us (you all know you are). They should put a plaque up. I don't miss Linnet and Lark though but then again what else is there on a tuesday in Hull. The bands that play there every week should just pack it in because the music they are making is just embarrassingly shite.
 Anyway back to Spain. It's absolutely boiling as I write this from my balcony (yeh thats right my balcony)

  I'd like to give a special mention to 3 loves in my life...you know who you are...yes thats right...Kuka, Lulu and Celia. The chihuahuas. My gay flatmates have 3 chihuahuas and I've started to treat them like they're my own. My parents never had a dog. We had a trial with my uncles West Highland Terrier but it didn't work out. As my dad said: "You should've seen the shit it did in the back living room it was fucking horrible, I couldn't stop fucking borking". Since moving into the flat, I now understand why people love dogs so much. They make great companions. I had chihuahuas down as yappy rats but no. These 3 are safe as fook. I'm definately getting a dog when I move back. Gonna have to get a pug if Keelie has her way...